Heaven

While I was snuggling with B this morning after his breakfast, a song came on the radio. It is a song that I heard many times before, but until this moment in time it t didn't touch me like it did this time. Here are part of the lyrics...with a few minor changes...(he wrote it for is daughter)

Heaven is the face of a little boy
With bright blue eyes
That disappear when he smiles
Heaven is the place
Where he calls my name
Says, “Mommy please come play with me for awhile”

Heaven is the sound of him breathing deep, Lying on my chest, falling fast asleep while I sing
And Heaven is the weight of him in my arms, Being there to keep him safe from harm while he dreams

Heaven is the face of my little boy!



I made Mike capture this moment in time. I know it goes by fast and I will miss snuggling him. That moment truly was heaven for me!

Semi-Schedule

***WARNING*** I do realize that just when you think that you have something down...it changes.

So far it looks like he eats at 10pm, 2 am and then 6-7. Mike will usually do the 6 am feeding so that afterward he can just start his work day. Occasionally I will sleep til 8:30 or 9 if B lets me. So for a 5 week old I think this is pretty good.

My first day out with B alone did not go so well. B did great, me...well I know why they call it mommy brain. I went to Famous Footwear and to lunch with friends. Here is how it goes...

1. Left my cell phone in Famous Footwear.
2. B puked in the car while I was breastfeeding...couldn't exactly jump up and take care of it with my boob out, so we got covered in curdled breast milk.
3. Forgot the insert for the bottle so I couldn't top him off after the boob.
4. Left my key in the car with the doors unlocked the entire meal.
5. Looked like an idiot in front of all my friends.

I think I scared my friend who is due in February. After a good cry in the car, I headed home and vowed next time will be better.

One other life lesson learned this week...have back up batteries for the swing!

1 Month old

Wow, that first month went by fast! We went back to the doctors the other day for another weigh in. He is now 8lbs 1.5 ounces and 22 1/2 inches long. We grow them long and skinny here, haha. 93% for height and 17% for weight. We are having trouble establishing a routine, but I guess we are on his schedule, not ours. We are upping his milk to 3 ounces, which means this milk machine isn't able to bank a whole lot extra. I dread evenings and nights. He is so fussy then and by in the end of the day that is the last thing I want to deal with. I'm so glad that we (Mike and I) team up. My motto today is "One Day at a Time". That is all I can do.
He watched his first Baby Einstein DVD. Some things caught his eye, but I think he is still too little to fully enjoy it. I am just trying what I can to keep him up more during the day so our nights go a little more smoothly. He met his first friend yesterday. He is 10 weeks old. Well "met" is not the right word because both babies slept through the entire meeting. Oh well, next time.

Whoa, this is tougher than I thought

It is starting to weigh on me now. B is three weeks old and has figured out what hunger pains are and gas pains are. The good thing is that I don't have to wake him as often and force feed him. He now cries and wakes himself up for feedings. Bad thing is he cries. HAHA! Well I guess that is what babies do. We have had our nights and evenings where nothing soothes him and those are killer. Poor guy had gas the other night and Mike and I were actually fighting over who got to leave to pick up the anti-gas medication. I won naturally. He has also figured out that he doesn't have to work as hard for milk when it comes out of the bottle vs. mommy. So, this leaves me pumping. ARGHH I hate pumping! Cleaning out those bottles is so annoying. It is starting to take a toll on my milk supply. I think i could be drying up. I've always said that I wasn't going to stress about it, but with the night we had last night with the formula affecting B's tummy, I want to provide him with enough breast milk.

In a couple of days we will take B for another weigh in. It is funny because instead losing weight, like on our favorite show The Biggest Loser, we want B to gain weight. I like to say "B this is last chance feeding, suck it down". I will keep you posted on his weight.

First appointment

Blake is not at birth weight, which is what they wanted at his two day home nurse check up (7 lbs 6 ounces). He is in the 15% for weight and 43% for head and length. We are trying everything we can to fattened him up, but when he doesn't want to eat, he wont. I can not force feed. So when he looks like he is in the mood to eat a good meal, I will give him formula (lots of calories there). I try to limit it to once a day. The pumping is getting ridiculous. I hate cleaning out the pump bottles after every time. So now I am just breast feeding, even at night. Mike gets to sleep, I don't, but oh well. I try to nap in the day. Sometimes I do have to pump, especially in the afternoon when B is sound asleep for hours. Sometimes he will sleep 5 hours! And there is no waking him up.

Now we do cluster feedings in the morning and evening since he sleeps all afternoon. I guess that is better than being awake all night. This is tough and I am beginning to see that I don't think I could be a FULL TIME stay at home mom. I could eat my words in about 10 weeks though.

Out and About

Today will be our fourth day out. We have been down to Parker, up to Erie, Aurora, and today is another Dr. appointment in Lafayette. We are getting used to it and more efficient. When I made these appointments (Aurora and Lafayette) I didn't really know our feeding schedule and it appears that I will be breast feeding in the waiting room yet again. The hepatologist said that she believes that the spot on the liver is a hemangioma and will eventually involute or go away. We are getting a second opinion on the ultrasound and we have a follow-up ultrasound to see if it it changes. Today we go for a pediatrician for just a check up. I am little worried because he is suppose to be birth weight today and yesterday at TCH