Once Upon a Potty

So we are in full potty training mode at our house. I am beginning to see the light at the end of the tunnel. I have to see the light because I have decided that I just bought my last box of diapers for him come hell or high water. He is actually doing pretty good. We are using the reward system (jelly beans and M&M's) and it seems to be working for now. I assuming this with be a "two steps forward, one step back" process and I ok with that. The other day he told me twice that he need to go pee and he did both times in the big potty! He is getting pretty good and is getting to the point where he doesn't want to wear a diaper. He says "I'm a big boy mommy, no change me". That's fine as long as we are in the house, but he doesn't want to wear one outside or when we go out which is a problem. I finally had to tell him that if he didn't cover up the police was going to put him in jail for indescent exposure. Yes, sometimes I parent with fear... no judging.

He is a lot better with C lee. Now, he trys to comfort him when he cries and the other day I caught him actually trying to play with him. Of course this melted my heart. C lee loves just watching B and will track him with his eyes and then kick around when he gets closer. So cute.

C is the most adorable boy. How did I make such cute kids? He is such a snuggle bug. Every morning when I am not working I bring him into bed with me to nurse and I swear the two of us would stay asleep until 8 am. Too bad Mike has to get up with B man at 6:30 in the morning. Not my fault I have the boobs, I am "nursing" from 630-8. He has laughed for Mike now a few times. I can't seem to get him to go there with me. At least I saw one of his first laughs. He does smile an awful lot. He plays by himself in his crib the mornings I go to work and when Mike walks him to get him he just starts smiling and gets all excited to start the day. For the most part he is sleeping through the night. I nurse him at about 4 am and then we "nurse" from 630 to 8 am. He is also cooing and making this gurgling noise a lot too. Sometimes he gets really loud as if to say "Guys, I am over here. Don't forget about me!".  I just love him so much! I want another one. I went back and read what B man was up to at this same stage and I said the same thing about wanting another one. I think B had better head control at this stage but I am not going to compare. lol.

Brothers!

Big gummy smile!

 I found my feet

So tired!

Back to work already!

I can't believe I am already back to work. So many things in my life has changed, including this web lay out for my blog. It took me awhile to figure out how to post this. Anyways, we all knew this day would come and boy, did it come fast. Everything seems to be on fast forward. I feel like my baby is so big already, expecially when I see all these other brand new ones around (I don't know if you noticed, but everyone and their mom is either pregnant or just had a new baby). Although I am glad to be back at work (sort of a nice break), I just wish it wasn't for 12 hours. Why can't I work three 8 hour shifts but still earn the same salary as before?
Being a mom the second time around is so different then the first. Instead of worrying if my baby is eating, pooping, and peeing enough, I now worry about location. Location of my two year old vs. my baby. I can not leave the two of them alone together. If I shower, B man has to shower with me or else he might try and "care" for the baby. Getting them in and out of the car (who comes first) and who is getting or not getting adequate attention are also new worries. I do feel less anxiety this go 'round which has really helped with my postpartum recovery, but I am a lot more tired. These boys do not sleep at the same time. Which is good and bad. Good because I can give individual attention and focus to one of them, bad because it makes it hard to get stuff done and nap myself.

B man on becoming a big brother- At first he was really excited and interested in C lee and that lasted about 4 days. Then it was like he realized C lee was staying and thats when the "abuse" started. He would bite him (nose, fingers, and toes) and push his head really hard against C lee's head. He would pull arms and legs and act like he was going to do something nice and then last minute hit him. It's been hard but they say this is normal behavior. Now, (3 months later) it is better. He will tell me when he starts crying and tell him "its ok baby". If he cries he will say that he needs a booboo or a paci. When other kids come up the C lee to see him (for instance, at the park) he'll come running over and stand right next to him like he is his protector. That kind of stuff melts my heart.

B man as a 2 1/2 year old- He is talking up a storm (oh I can't say "storm" because he is frightened of thunder and lightening), I'll just say he is a talker. Sometimes he says things and I am like "where did he get that?" or "how does he know that?". Now he asks "why" for everthing. At first it was cute, now it gets a little annoying. He also repeats everything I say, so I have to be very careful. He is do amazing in daycare and has really made a 180. His "teacher" says he is such a pleasure. He always says he had fun, asked when he is going back, and does not cry at drop off or pick up. I think since C lee has been born that has been his personal refuge. Whatever it is, I am just glad he likes going and likes his teacher. He just started potty training and has gone both pee and poop in the potty, although its not consistent, there is light at then end of this diaper tunnel. He is so fun to watch/observe because he really is becoming a little man with his own ideas and imagination. He is so funny too. He dances all the time and loves playing instruments and being a "rock star". One time when I was breastfeeding C lee, he grabed his stuffed animal and put him to his breast, then proceeded to make a painful facial expression and say "ouch ouch ouch, oooohhhh, ouch". It must of been right when C lee was born and it was still painful to nurse. hahaha.

Baby C lee- He has the cutest smile (he started smiling at 5 weeks and is so close to laughing). He loves sucking on his hands and arms. He will root so hard that he almosts flips himself out of his swing. For the most part he is a really good baby. He is calm and really only cries when he needs something (now that we got the whole lactose thing figured out, it was bothering me there for bothering him). He does fight sleep though, but once he is down for the night he has gone 6-9 hours straight! I love his little voice when he coos and of course, his feet. God how I love my babies feet. When he was first born he had quite an old man hair line, now the front part is coming in (looks like I buzzed it). Hey, business in the front, party in the back, hahaha.
Mike and I are also smarter and not so regimentd this time. He go out to eat a lot now (without B man, but with C lee) because we know that C lee won't be sleeping through dinner much longer and our "date nights" will come to an end.
All and all I love being a mom. I love my boys so much. I always said "two and through", but now I don't know. I sort of want another one. Mike on the other hand is D-O-N-E done done done. Maybe he will change his mind. Maybe I will change my mind as C lee gets older and Mike and I start getting our lives back. Who knows. Lets just say the vasectomy is on hold....for now.

C-lee

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Carter Lee's Birth Story

I had been having contractions for weeks now, and by this point (2 days before my due date), I was sure I would have a March baby. Monday started out as usual. I didn't work on Sunday and decided half days were good for me until this baby came. I dropped B man off with his Nana around 1030 am and decided to just go ahead and go to work even though I wasn't expected until 2 pm. I figured since I slept the best I had slept in a long time the night before, no use in hanging around the house when I could go make money. I clocked in at noon and by 3 pm the contractions started up again. They weren't painful but noticeable. I thought I was doing the same thing I did a week before and was having false labor. By 8pm, I was scanning my patient who was also pregnant (1st trimester) that was having pelvic pain. I noticed our expressions and grimaces were the same. By the end of the exam I looked at my co-worker and said " I need to lay down".

I laid in one of our exam rooms for two hours, texting my mom and Mike. Trying to convince myself that this wasn't real. Going back and forth with the decision to call people down to the hospital this late at night. Finally, I made the decision that no matter what they said I wasn't able to drive home and needed either a pain killer or an sleep aide. So I walked down to L&D triage where the same nurse who saw me last week was there again. Now I really felt stupid for not knowing whether this was real or not. She said I was 3.5 cm dilated and could stretch me to 4 cm so that I could stay. I agreed and it really hurt. The contractions after that really started to hurt worse. Convinced this still wasn't it or that I had a long way to go, I told the nurse that I could walk the halls until my family showed up. Now, I said this because I thought I still needed to show progression before they would send me up to L&D. She looked at me and said "are you sure you just don't want your epidural?" I really was confused now and declined. She came back into the room about 8 min later and I said " I would take the epidural if it was still offered". So glad I did because the pain got really intense.

I made it up to my delivery room, the same room B was born in. At this point I am in a lot of pain and wondering where the hell my family was. I am sitting there on the side of the bed prepping for my epidural thinking, where is Mike? He is suppose to help hold me down for my epidural because I don't know if I can stay still for it. And just like that, God heard my cries and I didn't have a single contraction for 15 minutes. They were right on top of each other before. Just as the catheter went into my back my mom showed up and not long after that Mike came in. I joked and said they must of planned waiting to come until after the epidural, but maybe that wasn't a joke??.

Labor after that was pretty uneventful, except for me dropping my blood pressure a couple of times causing me to vomit and the window in my right hip that the epidural did not seem to get. That was a weird feeling because even though I could not feel my hip when I touched it, it was like the pain was deep in my bone coming out. The only time it felt better was when I was pushing and after delivery.

By 5 am my hip pain was horrendous and they checked me at 5:15 and said "time to push". The first push hurt my hip, but after that it felt better and 13 minutes later (not 4 hours this time), my precious, no name little boy was born. He looked nothing like B did (I don't even think he had a cone head) and I knew he weighed less then B too. When they pulled him out before Mike could say what it was, I looked down and thought for a split second I saw swollen labia, but it turned out to be scrotum. I always had a feeling this was going to be a little boy. He looked so perfect and I cried. I couldn't believe he was here already. This pregnancy went so fast (even though it always seems that way when you area pregnant) and I thought, I will never feel like this again and I was sad. The thought of a third baby crossed my mind and I still sometimes think I want another. Mike is for sure a no go on that idea.

I was exhausted after delivery and the last thing I wanted to do was nurse. I even thought that I wouldn't nurse at all this time, but once he was latched, something in me said "oh this feels so right, I do remember how much I enjoyed nursing".

Later that night the birth certificate lady came in to collect and we still had no name. It took us another 24 hours to figure it out. We were going back and forth between Carter, Levi, and Eli. I wanted to call the baby Leelee so I thought Levi would be good. Mike had always liked Carter or Eli. I didn't really like Eli and Mike had vetoed Levi so we went with Carter. Middle name came as a compromise because with Lee as a middle name (Mike's middle name as well) I could still call him Leelee if I wanted.

So there it is. The story of Carter Lee weighing in at 7 lbs 5 ounces and 20 inches long. Born on February 28th 2012, one day early and not a leap day baby. I am so blessed to have such a beautiful family. I feel so lucky to have a healthy baby boy. I am trying to soak up all his "newbornness" because I know how fast it goes.

Tick Tock Tick Tock

This waiting game is killing me. I am trying to just except the fact that I have no control over when this little one arrives, and am trying to enjoy what little time we have left as a family of three. I am just really uncomfortable.

Anyways, I wanted to brag about how many songs B man know now. Its so awsome to hear him sing. His voice is like a cross between Fergie and Jesus (haha). Seriously though, it is so darn cute and sweet. He knows Twinkle Twinkle Little Star, Baa Baa Black Sheep, ABC's, Skip to my Lou, and Happy Birthday. He is also able to count to ten. He is so smart that it just amazes me the stuff/stories he tells (when I can translate them). Another funny thing he does is, he'll ask about something, for instance, an airplane. We'll say, "Yes, B that is an airplane and it flies high in the sky". Then he'll say to the other parent the same thing one of us just told him, like it was his orginal thought. Its funny because both of us are sitting right there. Its almost like he is playing the game telephone. When he gets really excited to tell us something he always goes into this frantic state. For example, he'll say "mommy mommy mommy mommy mommy mommy mom the sky blue". He says our name like one hundred times before he can spit out his thought. And if you ever had to watch your mouth before, its ten fold now. He has repeated damn and a few other words now. Yikes.

One of my favorite things he says and does is "hold hand" and then he grabs my hand. It pretty much melts my heart although I a pretty sure he does it when he knows I am about to leave him so that I feel extra guilty. I am sure going to miss these precious moments. Never knew one could love someone so deeply.

I hope I don't rush by these moments with him or the new baby for that matter.

Oh and before I forget, at my 38 week appointment I am a tight 3 cm dilated and still 50% effaced, my fundal height is 36cm and I gained 3 pounds. That is a total of 17 pounds this pregnancy. At this point I would be surprised if this baby weighs more than B did. But I'm still not done cooking it yet so we'll see.

Ding the fries are done!

I mean I am done! But I am not, but I am, but not right now, but may in a little bit. That is how confused I am. One part of me wants this baby out because I am so tired and just done. Another part of me is trying to enjoy this time because I won't be doing this again (at least we are 90% sure of that) plus, now I know how much more tired I will be when the baby gets here. Why isn't there something out there that allows us to not be pregnant for the last two weeks, our baby is put into an artificial womb, then us parents get to go on a good relaxing vacation, and when we come home he take the baby out and enjoy?!?! I would be the richest woman in the world if I could invent that, (oh and it would be covered by insurance). I think our population would triple if that came true.

So, I go back to the doctor on wednesday and maybe some more progress will be made. I am hoping for 3 cm dilated and 90% effaced, then deliver on the 19th just like B. Oh the wishful thinking.

Everything right now is "oh, could this be it?" AND IT IS DRIVING ME NUTS!

36 week appointment

2 cm dilated and 50% effaced. These contractions that I have been feeling are doing something. Oh and baby has dropped too.