The good, the bad, the stinky!

As I'm sure you all know by now, this has been a hard 1st trimester for me. I do have good days (the days that I can actually write on here), but I tend to have more bad days and stinky days. Bad days are the ones I feel queasy all day and I may vomit at least once. Stinky days are the worst. They are the days that I am really nauseated and gassy. What makes it sooooo bad is the fact that I can't get away from my own stink and it makes me even more nauseated. It is a vicious cycle.

Baby update: tomorrow I will be nine weeks and if you've noticed the ticker on the side, you can see that it is starting to look more human now.

WHOA! Sorry to diverge but for the first time in this pregnancy I just puked out of nowhere... in my hands. Couldn't get to the bathroom fast enough. Luckily it wasn't a lot. I hope the doesn't happen in public. It reminded me of the baby on the Etrade commercial.

Moving on... the baby is about the size of a medium green olive/grape, its got arms and legs. The wrists are now evident and are flexed. All the rest of the joints have also developed (knees and elbows). His eyelids are fused shut and will remain that way for the next four months.

Changes in me: I don't have a problem with buttoning my jeans like the book says, but at the end of the day it is nice to unbutton. I have a stuffy nose all the time that gives me post nasal drip which causes gagging, which causes vomiting. My blood volume apparently has doubled. My hair is as dry as hay.

I don't feel pregnant even though I am sick. I just feel like a got the flu and have had it for 4 weeks. I do think about being a mom when I am lying around feeling crappy, and honestly it scares me. I wonder if I will be as good as my mom and my sisters. I think about how much work it will be and question whether I am ready, because I can't go back now. I am sure I'm not the only woman who has thought this, especially with their first pregnancy. Just want to be honest. Maybe I will feel more connected to this child as my belly grows and I can feel the baby move. Then maybe my "maternal instinct" will kick in. I think about how much my life will change and wonder how it will effect my relationship with Mike. Will be become closer? Will we bicker and get frustrated with each other? Probably both. I've have always been a little scared of change, but everyone says it is worth it and I believe them.