I mean I am done! But I am not, but I am, but not right now, but may in a little bit. That is how confused I am. One part of me wants this baby out because I am so tired and just done. Another part of me is trying to enjoy this time because I won't be doing this again (at least we are 90% sure of that) plus, now I know how much more tired I will be when the baby gets here. Why isn't there something out there that allows us to not be pregnant for the last two weeks, our baby is put into an artificial womb, then us parents get to go on a good relaxing vacation, and when we come home he take the baby out and enjoy?!?! I would be the richest woman in the world if I could invent that, (oh and it would be covered by insurance). I think our population would triple if that came true.
So, I go back to the doctor on wednesday and maybe some more progress will be made. I am hoping for 3 cm dilated and 90% effaced, then deliver on the 19th just like B. Oh the wishful thinking.
Everything right now is "oh, could this be it?" AND IT IS DRIVING ME NUTS!
February 12, 2012
February 3, 2012
36 week appointment
2 cm dilated and 50% effaced. These contractions that I have been feeling are doing something. Oh and baby has dropped too.
January 29, 2012
One more post for this month
I want first start off by saying B has some new phrases he likes to say now:
1. "Night dude".
2. " No..right now".
3. "Give it to me".
4. "Mama, come right back?"
He can count to 10 and say the Abc's (obviously some stuff is skipped over like 5 6 7 and l m n o p sounds like " yellow yellow P".)
5. "sun sleep moon out " and vice versa
6. He always wants "cereal and jews " for breakfast (thats juice in case you don't translate to well)
7. He thinks its so funny to put a "U" at the end of names. For example "mamu, papu, nanu, babu"
8. He loves when Mike or I come home. His favorite thing to do is surprise you. He'll hide and then jump out and say "prize mama" or "Mommy home".
Now that he sleeps in his big boy bed and refuses to let up put the gate up in his door way (its now at the stairs) he comes right into our room and up to me. I work up to him once caressing my face (I do this to him to get him to sleep) and also breathing on me. I thought it was Mike's breath for awhile til I opened my eyes and he was starring at me smiling. I couldn't resist laughing, and now my baby has normal big boy stinky morning breath.
I had my maternity photo session done a couple of days ago and they turned out really well. Thank God my sister is good at what she does because I feel and look like I haven't slept in a year. We really wanted to do something very different this time around and I like we accomplished it. I am excited to post some pictures here soon. We even went outside and although I froze my tail off, I trusted my sister's vision and am so glad I did because with some editing they look great!
She also mentioned that she may be seeing me in a couple of weeks for newborn pictures and I just about fell over. I mean technically I could. Lots of women have their babies 2-3 weeks early. This made me realized that I need to really try and enjoy these last few week, as hard as it may be, since I most likely won't be experiencing this again.
I looked back at my pregnancy blog with B and it appears I am par for the coarse. When it comes to contractions, size, weight, sleep deprivation, cravings and so on... I am right on target as before.
Now the mind game begins. Tick tock tick tock.
1. "Night dude".
2. " No..right now".
3. "Give it to me".
4. "Mama, come right back?"
He can count to 10 and say the Abc's (obviously some stuff is skipped over like 5 6 7 and l m n o p sounds like " yellow yellow P".)
5. "sun sleep moon out " and vice versa
6. He always wants "cereal and jews " for breakfast (thats juice in case you don't translate to well)
7. He thinks its so funny to put a "U" at the end of names. For example "mamu, papu, nanu, babu"
8. He loves when Mike or I come home. His favorite thing to do is surprise you. He'll hide and then jump out and say "prize mama" or "Mommy home".
Now that he sleeps in his big boy bed and refuses to let up put the gate up in his door way (its now at the stairs) he comes right into our room and up to me. I work up to him once caressing my face (I do this to him to get him to sleep) and also breathing on me. I thought it was Mike's breath for awhile til I opened my eyes and he was starring at me smiling. I couldn't resist laughing, and now my baby has normal big boy stinky morning breath.
I had my maternity photo session done a couple of days ago and they turned out really well. Thank God my sister is good at what she does because I feel and look like I haven't slept in a year. We really wanted to do something very different this time around and I like we accomplished it. I am excited to post some pictures here soon. We even went outside and although I froze my tail off, I trusted my sister's vision and am so glad I did because with some editing they look great!
She also mentioned that she may be seeing me in a couple of weeks for newborn pictures and I just about fell over. I mean technically I could. Lots of women have their babies 2-3 weeks early. This made me realized that I need to really try and enjoy these last few week, as hard as it may be, since I most likely won't be experiencing this again.
I looked back at my pregnancy blog with B and it appears I am par for the coarse. When it comes to contractions, size, weight, sleep deprivation, cravings and so on... I am right on target as before.
Now the mind game begins. Tick tock tick tock.
January 22, 2012
35/35
I am almost 35 weeks along and therefor 35 days to go. We are trying to get things ready to go for this one's arrival, but are not feeling motivated. I don't know what it is, but with B I am sure we were done with everything by this time and were just waiting on his arrival. I am starting to feel really uncomfortable and worn out. I am trying to play and do a lot of things with B because I know that once this baby comes that time will have to be split between the two. That alone is wearing me out. I have such bad "MOM GUILT" its not even funny. I feel so guilty for having another baby and then I feel guilty for feeling guilty. I don't want to deprive either child.
Also, the stress at work is getting to me. I just found out that I will not be paying for full- time benefits this year because my department does not want to grant me 2 more hours a week to qualify for their new full time status. This means that I will be paying more monthly for insurance and not receive as much paid time off and other perks that come with full time status. This is caused me to look else where for work, which is hard to do when I am this far along. I've decided that while I am out on maternity leave I will try and find another job that can provide us the full time benefits. This could be a blessing in disguise as I might find something out there that is better and needed this push to get me out of my comfort zone. It may not. Either way I just the Lord has a plan for me.
B has been really clinging lately. At one end its nice to have that "I'm needed feeling" and at the other end, it only makes my "mom guilt" worse. Oh well, I guess there is nothing I can do about it, but just try and be the best mom I can be.
Also, the stress at work is getting to me. I just found out that I will not be paying for full- time benefits this year because my department does not want to grant me 2 more hours a week to qualify for their new full time status. This means that I will be paying more monthly for insurance and not receive as much paid time off and other perks that come with full time status. This is caused me to look else where for work, which is hard to do when I am this far along. I've decided that while I am out on maternity leave I will try and find another job that can provide us the full time benefits. This could be a blessing in disguise as I might find something out there that is better and needed this push to get me out of my comfort zone. It may not. Either way I just the Lord has a plan for me.
B has been really clinging lately. At one end its nice to have that "I'm needed feeling" and at the other end, it only makes my "mom guilt" worse. Oh well, I guess there is nothing I can do about it, but just try and be the best mom I can be.
January 1, 2012
Happy New Year 2012!
Like always, I can't believe how fast 2011 flew by. When I got pregnant this time I told myself I wouldn't worry about anything for the baby til after the holidays, and then I will really buckle down. Well, now that they are over, I have this strong feeling of urgency and anxiety (are you surprised because I am not). I am 8 months (32 weeks) pregnant and just now starting my to-do list. The only problem is, whenever I feel like I have so much to do and overwhelmed, my natural instinct is to just shut down, close my eyes and pretend its not there. I don't even know where to start. So I decided to break it down and start with the nursery...oh oops, B is still in the nursery. Ok, not a problem lets go buy him furniture and set up his new big boy room. Check! Now what? Nursing stuff. Bottles, pump equipment organization, nipples and bottle cleaners... check! One by one this will be my life for the next couple of months until this baby comes, all while working full time and taking care of a 2 year old. Whoa is me. lol
Speaking of B's new room, we've had two full nights in it now and so far, not so bad. The first night required me to lay in bed with him until he fell asleep, and the second now required Mike (I was working the next morning) to get up with him a couple times. He did, however, fall asleep on his own though. I guess we can't expect to get everything we want right away. I will say I am SO glad I got a video monitor. I can see if he is staying in bed or getting into trouble and it is nice, I don't care what other people say.
For new baby we did something we never did while I was pregnant with B. I got a 3d ultrasound and video. Now, I would never pay for something like this, but since it was free it was fun to do. Baby was laying with its hand under its cheek and cuddling its foot. Super cute. Excited to meet this little person. Names are still not set in stone but we have some options narrowed down. Now for Dr.s appointment to see what damage I did to my weight with holiday food. Oh well, I don't care. I have an excuse and the Dr. won't care either. More or less curious. If I didn't gain a whole lot its because B and I have been dancing our a$$ off. Thats his new favorite thing to do, to just dance and I love dancing with him.
Speaking of B's new room, we've had two full nights in it now and so far, not so bad. The first night required me to lay in bed with him until he fell asleep, and the second now required Mike (I was working the next morning) to get up with him a couple times. He did, however, fall asleep on his own though. I guess we can't expect to get everything we want right away. I will say I am SO glad I got a video monitor. I can see if he is staying in bed or getting into trouble and it is nice, I don't care what other people say.
For new baby we did something we never did while I was pregnant with B. I got a 3d ultrasound and video. Now, I would never pay for something like this, but since it was free it was fun to do. Baby was laying with its hand under its cheek and cuddling its foot. Super cute. Excited to meet this little person. Names are still not set in stone but we have some options narrowed down. Now for Dr.s appointment to see what damage I did to my weight with holiday food. Oh well, I don't care. I have an excuse and the Dr. won't care either. More or less curious. If I didn't gain a whole lot its because B and I have been dancing our a$$ off. Thats his new favorite thing to do, to just dance and I love dancing with him.
December 18, 2011
Well, this kid already got snuffed
With B I was always on it. We took belly pictures right on time and I probably blogged about 3-4 times a month. Now I am lucky if I get 2 blog posts up and I've missed my 28 week belly shot. Poor kid. S/he probably wont get a lot of pictures taken either. I am already stressing about having enough time for this baby. Will I remember to fill out the baby book? Will I remember to blog? Will I get behind on the montages? The list could go on. I just don't either child to feel neglected. So, Tuesday I HAVE to remember to do a belly picture for 30 weeks. We are at the 10 week count down folks and the anxiety is kicking in full force. At least I am not the only one. They other night at Mike's parents house, Mike was holding his nephew when he started to cry. It was like he panicked. He forgot what to do and just wanted to hand off the baby. He even said "whoa I'm not ready for this, I still have 2 more months to go." To his credit it is different when its not your own child, but I felt it too. Are we ready? Again?
B man is saying the cutest things to me. He says "la you too, mama" (Love you too, mama). He sings "Yes, jejus meeeee" (Yes, Jesus loves me). "to you, papa" (Happy Birthday to you, Papa). I am the stories that come out of his mouth are so funny (when I understand him). It is so true, that only parents really know what their kids are saying. I swear it sounds so obvious and clear to me but others are like "what did he say?". His little personality is really starting to emerge. He love attention and will do anything for it. He loves trying to make you laugh and if that doesn't work he is quit the drama king, fake tears and all. He gets so crazy almost like he is out of control when he is having fun. It is quit amusing.
Ok, now for some baby things. My ribs are killing me. There are days I just want to cry because the pain never goes away. Like I said before, this baby is very active and,as long as it doesn't push against my sensitive spot, I am enjoying the feeling of have this life in side of me. I am never really alone. I feel so blessed that I am able to have another child and so far a pretty uneventful pregnancy. Sometimes I know I can take this for granted and it truly is a miracle. I am so curious to see if this baby looks just like B. Our friends just had their second and she looks just like her brother.
The reason for not having pictures is because they are all and home and I find I only have time to blog when I am at work ;-) I will try and add pictures to previous posts.
B man is saying the cutest things to me. He says "la you too, mama" (Love you too, mama). He sings "Yes, jejus meeeee" (Yes, Jesus loves me). "to you, papa" (Happy Birthday to you, Papa). I am the stories that come out of his mouth are so funny (when I understand him). It is so true, that only parents really know what their kids are saying. I swear it sounds so obvious and clear to me but others are like "what did he say?". His little personality is really starting to emerge. He love attention and will do anything for it. He loves trying to make you laugh and if that doesn't work he is quit the drama king, fake tears and all. He gets so crazy almost like he is out of control when he is having fun. It is quit amusing.
Ok, now for some baby things. My ribs are killing me. There are days I just want to cry because the pain never goes away. Like I said before, this baby is very active and,as long as it doesn't push against my sensitive spot, I am enjoying the feeling of have this life in side of me. I am never really alone. I feel so blessed that I am able to have another child and so far a pretty uneventful pregnancy. Sometimes I know I can take this for granted and it truly is a miracle. I am so curious to see if this baby looks just like B. Our friends just had their second and she looks just like her brother.
The reason for not having pictures is because they are all and home and I find I only have time to blog when I am at work ;-) I will try and add pictures to previous posts.
December 4, 2011
3rd Trimester!
The end is near. I don't know wheather to be be happy for never being pregnant again or sad for never being pregnant again. I try to enjoy it, but it is really hard when I have severe rib pain and back pain and over all uncomfortableness. Oh, and did I mention the rib kicking. I am assuming he/she is head down and feet are just rolling over my ribs. Ouch! I will say I think being pregnant in the summer is easier then the winter so far. Boots are really hard to get on with a belly in the way. I much perfer flip flops. Plus, I feel even fatter with all the heavy clothes and coat on. Morning sickness is the summer was hard too (even though it wasn't as bad this time around), but you already get really hot right before you vomit, then add the 90 degree weather and it is pretty miserable. My vote for future moms, if you can time your pregnancy, is to get pregnant in the spring or summer. This advice might change as I could be stuck in a winter storm without my epidural for delivery. Pray this won't happen.
I leave for San Diego in a couple of days to visit my sister. I am excited to get away, but ever since B has been born its always bitter sweet. When I am in the throw of things, I can't wait to "escape", but when that time comes I am always sad to leave him and can't wait to get back. I have a doctors appointment right before I leave to make sure everything is a "go, no go for launch". We plan on whale watching and hitting up the wild animal park for a safari.
B said his first sentence the other day. It went like this. "no, Yellow Guy (his stuffed animal) stay mommy's house". I almost cried. I do a lot of that lately with all these hormones. B also visited Santa this year already. Our friends always throw a Christmas party for the kids with a visit from Santa. Last year B screamed and cried. This year he patiently sat and waited for his name to be call to pick up his gift and sit on Santa's lap. At one point he got really brave and curious. He snuck up to Santa and touched his leg, then retreated real fast to sit back down. It was funny and yes, I almost cried again. When it was his turn he didn't cry, but he also wouldn't tell Santa what he wanted either, still shy. We got good pictures this time.
I leave for San Diego in a couple of days to visit my sister. I am excited to get away, but ever since B has been born its always bitter sweet. When I am in the throw of things, I can't wait to "escape", but when that time comes I am always sad to leave him and can't wait to get back. I have a doctors appointment right before I leave to make sure everything is a "go, no go for launch". We plan on whale watching and hitting up the wild animal park for a safari.
B said his first sentence the other day. It went like this. "no, Yellow Guy (his stuffed animal) stay mommy's house". I almost cried. I do a lot of that lately with all these hormones. B also visited Santa this year already. Our friends always throw a Christmas party for the kids with a visit from Santa. Last year B screamed and cried. This year he patiently sat and waited for his name to be call to pick up his gift and sit on Santa's lap. At one point he got really brave and curious. He snuck up to Santa and touched his leg, then retreated real fast to sit back down. It was funny and yes, I almost cried again. When it was his turn he didn't cry, but he also wouldn't tell Santa what he wanted either, still shy. We got good pictures this time.
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